Reflecting...

is something I like to do. I think that's one reason I keep a private journal-ish thing. I like to go back and relive things and think about them. Okay, maybe just maybe I am an introvert.

Since graduation, I've thought about who I was just four years ago and who I am now. There were so many life lessons that I learned.

• Life is short. Anytime you see someone could be the last. I think that was the most reoccurring theme.
• Forgive quickly.
• Keep in touch with people.
• Smile because you can.
• Take risks.

I wish I had known those things earlier.

I've found that I am a lot like the Israelites in Exodus...actually in the whole Bible. I caught this after the county-wide graduation. I'm ashamed of it now, but I was sitting there and grumbling to God. I really felt a peace going with Trinity although I didn't have a reason to. My bestest friends had just graduated and I watched. So that night I said, "God, this isn't fair. I followed what I thought You told me..and now I'm totally jipped." I grumbled about all the things I missed out on and all that and then focused on my own graduation. I sat down and wrote my speech. It came so easy. Practicing it felt right. The day or maybe two before graduation is when I think my change in heart really happened.

I'm really glad I trusted. I took a leap about six months ago and now I really do not regret it. It was actually beyond my wildest dreams. This isn't to diss my county friends. I love 'em to death. Its just that God opened many doors and I'm sooo thankful for that.

I didn't mean to rattle away like this. I'm not even sure if I'm making sense to anyone but myself. Its hard because I can't even describe what happened in my head. I just know God did something extraordinary!

3/2/2007

when your eyes burn with tears
remember I Am here
I will be with you
when they've all gone
marked you "mistake"
I don't make mistakes
be strong
your purpose will come
I will not leave you

-EC

Something I've recently struggled with. Sometimes I think of myself as a mistake. How would that be possible? God doesn't make mistakes, so somehow I still fit in His will. It's hard to think about.

Too much thinking...and still no conclusions

Watch out...the rambling is here.

I am frustrated with a few people at the moment but mostly with myself.

WHY?? Why?

I am angry because I sit on the sidelines. I watch...I'm a spectator and I feel stuck there.

I am capable...I know I am. I settled on the social ladder and now it feels like I'll never get off this rung.

I'm president of my 4-H club. I talk a tonnnn. I go up to people and talk to them. So why?

God, why?

and why do I feel the need to keep a facade that this is all ok with me.
people always think i'm fine because i act like i am. i don't want to walk around all mopey...but i'm tired of being a hypocrite. i really don't know what i should do...blaahblah.

gahh. i'm so confused.
i don't even know what i'm thinking anymore.

We've got quizzing fever...

Bible quizzing is coming soon and my team is very excited!

But there is a twist...we now have quizzing fever.

The question: what happened as a result of Adam's sin?

Answer: The stream of humanity was polluted
I am serious...that was taken straight out of the book. So we pull out our fishy crackers and all four of us (yes) start saying, "fishieeee!!"

It's so sad...I'm sorry.

Hurray!

Wow! I have a blogspot...yay?

I'm getting tired of xanga.

15:13 comes from John 15:13 --Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

I'm reading Romans right now and really loving it. I hate legalism, and God is showing me how legalistic I am. It's very humbling.
More later...